I was reading today in Ether 12 and started reading chapter 13. In verse 20, the prophet Ether comes to talk with Coriantumr, the king at the time. Ether prophesies to him, telling him that if he will repent, God will give unto him the whole kingdom and spare the people. This was the desire of Coriantumr! He wanted the kingdom, but he rejects the prophecy and tries to kill Ether. It's sad, because in the end Coriantumr loses the kingdom, and all the Jaredites (his people) are destroyed. He sees the fulfillment of prophecy, in the worst possible way, but the sad thing is that he could have had the kingdom, and the kingdom was precisely the desire of his heart.
But why did he reject the prophecy? He didn't believe, and he had to be forced to see the bad result of the prophecy to finally believe and to try to repent. But by that time it was too late. The grace had already passed.
There's a scripture in Matt 6:33 and in 3 Nephi 13:33 that reads, seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you. That was so true in the case of Coriantumr. If he had only sought God first, he would've had the kingdom, he would have had happiness, he would have had eternal life. But now he has nothing.
The same is true my own life, and I think of its application to two things in particular: one is exam MLC. Studying for the exam is really stressing me out, but I know that as I seek first for the kingdom of God, this exam will be added unto me. Another thing is marriage and love. I need to seek first the kingdom of God, and then that rich and sweet blessing will be mine in the Lord's own due time. And that it will be better, so much better, than of if I had just sought for these things by myself, by the strength of my own hand as did Coriantumr.
In the end, we choose. With God, we can obtain the sweetest desires of our heart, but it has to be through God's way. If we do not choose to follow God, we may or may not obtain by the strength of our own arm;but in the end, if we do not obtain through Christ, it will come to an end.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Fate and Destiny
I went on a wonderful date this evening, but something that my date said struck me and has made me ponder. She started asking me about my family life, how it was when my dad remarried, how I dealt with it,* and if I had processed it. Have I processed it? Gotten over it? Fully healed and ready to move on?
That’s a good question, one of which I intend to study.
I had thought I had gotten over everything, but a recent experience told me I hadn’t. Certain things seem to trigger such a wallowing of sorrow and pain that threatens to completely destroy and overrun. I have wondered in the past whether or not I will ever fully get over “it.”
It’s more complicated than just myself, because the effects of my own history (not my cause, but what affected me) affects all of my family. I see the consequences often and sometimes it brings the pain of remembrance. I was talking with my sister the other day and she brought up something in the past I didn’t know about. I was very young at the time, and most my memories are blanked out during that time period. This might be good to not remember, but at the same time it’s frustrating because if I choose to forgive and to love and to try and heal, there are others who still suffer. I can work on a better relationship with the person, but others will not and might even be somewhat hurt that I’m working on healing and love.
C’est le vie.
I have wondered however, what I am, how my parent’s divorce, the troubles of my childhood, problems in the family, have affected me, how they now affect and how they will affect me.
I am a child of statistics. I have a higher probability of divorce, higher risk of a life of crime (I think I’m over that one :) ), etc. I am destined to fail. And I sometimes the lasting wounds…
Am I a child of fate, with no free will of myself?
I reject that! The law of attraction teaches me that if I believe that I am fated to some sort of statistical demise, that it will become a self fulfilled prophecy, and so no, I choose not to believe it.
I choose to believe that I can and will have an extraordinarily happy family life, that I will be able to rejoice with my spouse and hopefully with my children. I choose to prepare for that happiness now. I choose to go against the grain of the grinding probabilistic wheels and emerge victorious, unscathed except by the wounds that will remind me of my great victory, and the scars that are proof of my conquering.
Victory! Victory at all costs (I’m not really ranting but this is somewhat fun). I can and will have a happy family life, the life I’ve always dreamed of, the life I have longed for, pleaded for, fasted for, cried out for. I will obtain. I shall obtain. I have the promises of the Lord laid out before, it is only a matter of two questions: do I want it? YES! Am I willing to pay the price in faith and obedience? YES!
Let the heavens shout and the earth bound in joy I shall come off in victory. Victory at all costs! And the happiness and joy I shall feel will be sweet, exquisite, better than I have longed for.
Indeed I shall triumph over my foes, I shall triumph through Christ, the High Priest of good things to come. I love Him. His Atonement makes all this possible; it gives me the power to become, to overcome, to endure, to conquer, and it is sweet.
Have I processed it completely? Probably not. Will I ever? Yes; it’s only a matter of when. Why am I so sure? Because I choose where I am and where I will be. I choose to continue in the path of happiness and not to let the past rob me of my golden future. I choose to become a great husband, a loving father. I choose the choice I desire.
It still leaves me to wonder how to deal with the past. I was also asked if I would relive those days (she was talking about the nostalgia of childhood). How shall I deal with the past? I do not know, but I will study it. Perhaps, in the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (an Apostle of the Lord), it is not good to go about digging up the wounds that the Son of God died to heal (I would apply this to my own wounds—why suffer my pains thrice?). Lots more I could write with this but I content myself.
I choose life over misery.
*my opinion is that we deal with it in different manners: for me I went with the Church, God, martial arts, video games, and learning to smile in painful instances—which creeps ppl out sometimes, like when I smile during a really sad scene in a movie, because it’s so perfectly sad! Of course it had to happen that way!
That’s a good question, one of which I intend to study.
I had thought I had gotten over everything, but a recent experience told me I hadn’t. Certain things seem to trigger such a wallowing of sorrow and pain that threatens to completely destroy and overrun. I have wondered in the past whether or not I will ever fully get over “it.”
It’s more complicated than just myself, because the effects of my own history (not my cause, but what affected me) affects all of my family. I see the consequences often and sometimes it brings the pain of remembrance. I was talking with my sister the other day and she brought up something in the past I didn’t know about. I was very young at the time, and most my memories are blanked out during that time period. This might be good to not remember, but at the same time it’s frustrating because if I choose to forgive and to love and to try and heal, there are others who still suffer. I can work on a better relationship with the person, but others will not and might even be somewhat hurt that I’m working on healing and love.
C’est le vie.
I have wondered however, what I am, how my parent’s divorce, the troubles of my childhood, problems in the family, have affected me, how they now affect and how they will affect me.
I am a child of statistics. I have a higher probability of divorce, higher risk of a life of crime (I think I’m over that one :) ), etc. I am destined to fail. And I sometimes the lasting wounds…
Am I a child of fate, with no free will of myself?
I reject that! The law of attraction teaches me that if I believe that I am fated to some sort of statistical demise, that it will become a self fulfilled prophecy, and so no, I choose not to believe it.
I choose to believe that I can and will have an extraordinarily happy family life, that I will be able to rejoice with my spouse and hopefully with my children. I choose to prepare for that happiness now. I choose to go against the grain of the grinding probabilistic wheels and emerge victorious, unscathed except by the wounds that will remind me of my great victory, and the scars that are proof of my conquering.
Victory! Victory at all costs (I’m not really ranting but this is somewhat fun). I can and will have a happy family life, the life I’ve always dreamed of, the life I have longed for, pleaded for, fasted for, cried out for. I will obtain. I shall obtain. I have the promises of the Lord laid out before, it is only a matter of two questions: do I want it? YES! Am I willing to pay the price in faith and obedience? YES!
Let the heavens shout and the earth bound in joy I shall come off in victory. Victory at all costs! And the happiness and joy I shall feel will be sweet, exquisite, better than I have longed for.
Indeed I shall triumph over my foes, I shall triumph through Christ, the High Priest of good things to come. I love Him. His Atonement makes all this possible; it gives me the power to become, to overcome, to endure, to conquer, and it is sweet.
Have I processed it completely? Probably not. Will I ever? Yes; it’s only a matter of when. Why am I so sure? Because I choose where I am and where I will be. I choose to continue in the path of happiness and not to let the past rob me of my golden future. I choose to become a great husband, a loving father. I choose the choice I desire.
It still leaves me to wonder how to deal with the past. I was also asked if I would relive those days (she was talking about the nostalgia of childhood). How shall I deal with the past? I do not know, but I will study it. Perhaps, in the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (an Apostle of the Lord), it is not good to go about digging up the wounds that the Son of God died to heal (I would apply this to my own wounds—why suffer my pains thrice?). Lots more I could write with this but I content myself.
I choose life over misery.
*my opinion is that we deal with it in different manners: for me I went with the Church, God, martial arts, video games, and learning to smile in painful instances—which creeps ppl out sometimes, like when I smile during a really sad scene in a movie, because it’s so perfectly sad! Of course it had to happen that way!
Monday, January 18, 2010
The (Holy) Secret--not really secret :)
I studied the following principles after watching the documentary The Secret, a show about the Law of Attraction, about how everything that happens to us is attracted by our thoughts, feelings, desires, hopes, and actions—negative thoughts (focusing on debt, pain, etc.) will bring about more of bad things while focusing on good things will attract good. The film discussed having a vision of what we really want, desiring it, believing we will receive it, feeling as if we’ve already received it , using gratitude to generate positive emotions/thoughts, etc. I can’t saw that I agree with everything portrayed in the film, but there was a lot of truth to it.
Definition of the Law of Attraction, the law of the harvest, the law of restitution
Doctrine and Covenants 88:40
For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own; judgment goeth before the face of him who sitteth upon the throne and governeth and executeth all things.
14 Therefore, my son, see that you are merciful unto your brethren; deal justly, judge righteously, and do good continually; and if ye do all these things then shall ye receive your reward; yea, ye shall have mercy restored unto you again; ye shall have justice restored unto you again; ye shall have a righteous judgment restored unto you again; and ye shall have good rewarded unto you again.
Alma 29: 4-7
4 I ought not to harrow up in my desires, the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction.
12 And it came to pass that after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me: I will grant unto thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith.
Romans 4
17 (As it is written,[speaking of Abraham] I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were.
18 Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.
19 And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sara’s womb:
20 He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God;
21 And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform.
22 And therefore it was imputed to him for righteousness.
13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.
13 And the Lord God hath sent his holy prophets among all the children of men, to declare these things to every kindred, nation, and tongue, that thereby whosoever should believe that Christ should come, the same might receive remission of their sins, and rejoice with exceedingly great joy, even as though he had already come among them.
Alma 12: 14
14 For our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence.
--One writer put it this way, and I can’t remember who it was, if our thoughts condemn us, surely they can exalt us.
7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…
Mosiah 24 (these people were under terrible slavery by their enemies)
10 And it came to pass that so great were their afflictions that they began to cry mightily to God.
12 And Alma and his people ... did pour out their hearts to him; and he did know the thoughts of their hearts.
13 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.
14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.
16 And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage.
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Doctrine and Covenants 90: 24.
24 Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another.
Doctrine and Covenants 100: 15.
15 Therefore, let your hearts be comforted; for all things shall work together for good to them that walk uprightly, and to the sanctification of the church.
19 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.
23 And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.
1 Nephi 15: 11
11 Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?—If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you.
22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
15 Wherefore, I knowing that the Lord God was able to preserve our records, I cried unto him continually, for he had said unto me: Whatsoever thing ye shall ask in faith, believing that ye shall receive in the name of Christ, ye shall receive it.
31 Behold this is my will; ask and ye shall receive; but men do not always do my will.
James 1
5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
64 Whatsoever ye ask the Father in my name it shall be given unto you, that is expedient for you;
65 And if ye ask anything that is not expedient for you, it shall turn unto your condemnation.
3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
22 And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.
Ether 12:6
6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.
Doctrine and Covenants 88
68 Therefore, sanctify yourselves that your minds become single to God, and the days will come that you shall see him; for he will unveil his face unto you, and it shall be in his own time, and in his own way, and according to his own will.
69 Remember the great and last promise which I have made unto you;
5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
9 Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.
1 Nephi 11
17 And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things. (all things can refer to not understanding trials, etc.)
24 He [Christ] doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him. Wherefore, he commandeth none that they shall not partake of his salvation.
10 Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.
5 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I beseech of you in words of soberness that ye would repent, and come with full purpose of heart, and cleave unto God as he cleaveth unto you. And while his arm of mercy is extended towards you in the light of the day, harden not your hearts.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Am not I better to thee than ten sons?
I had a pretty fun time at ward prayer watching the First Presidency Devotional. Some of it made me a bit sad though--maybe it's just the season, but I'm feeling somewhat inadequate and am once again longing/pining. Scratch that...probably the reason why I'm feeling more lonely is breaking up twice this week--one was a hopeful relationship (mutual breakup) and the other one of those I want your friendship but you want my romance sort of deals. *Sigh*
I was driving home thinking about all of this, and the happy couples/ppl who should be couples at ward prayer, and got longing. I had just gotten off the phone with a guy at the party (party is a more efficient use of words) and asked him to make sure the new guy got directions to Family Home Evening tomorrow night. I thought Well, I'm just a great "nice" guy who's caring, considerate, gives up his seat for women (I was actually thinking maybe if I stopped being a gentleman it would up my chances for a meaningful relationship, but I diverge), all of which gets me respect, maybe some admiration and friendship.
Isn't that good enough? Don't you want those things? came the thought.
But I want to be loved.
And then this thought: "Am I not better to thee than ten sons?"
That made me think. The story of Hannah in the Old Testament is a very touching one. Here is Hannah, faithful, righteous Hannah who is married to the wonderful Elkanah. Hannah has no children, even though this has long been the righteous desire of her heart, and is in sore longing, especially at the time when Elkanah takes her, and his other wife/kids to the temple to make sacrifice. Elkanah sees the pain of Hannah, who year by year goes without her desire and is under provokement by Elkanah's other wife.
1 Samuel 1:7-8
"... she (Hannah) wept, and did not eat.
I was driving home thinking about all of this, and the happy couples/ppl who should be couples at ward prayer, and got longing. I had just gotten off the phone with a guy at the party (party is a more efficient use of words) and asked him to make sure the new guy got directions to Family Home Evening tomorrow night. I thought Well, I'm just a great "nice" guy who's caring, considerate, gives up his seat for women (I was actually thinking maybe if I stopped being a gentleman it would up my chances for a meaningful relationship, but I diverge), all of which gets me respect, maybe some admiration and friendship.
Isn't that good enough? Don't you want those things? came the thought.
But I want to be loved.
And then this thought: "Am I not better to thee than ten sons?"
That made me think. The story of Hannah in the Old Testament is a very touching one. Here is Hannah, faithful, righteous Hannah who is married to the wonderful Elkanah. Hannah has no children, even though this has long been the righteous desire of her heart, and is in sore longing, especially at the time when Elkanah takes her, and his other wife/kids to the temple to make sacrifice. Elkanah sees the pain of Hannah, who year by year goes without her desire and is under provokement by Elkanah's other wife.
1 Samuel 1:7-8
"... she (Hannah) wept, and did not eat.
Then said Elkanah her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?
The answer that I give to the question, am I not better to thee than ten sons, (or rather, am I not better to thee than a wife) is yes . . . yes.
I won't go into all the reasons why, but my God, my Father . . . my Father, is so kind, and gracious; He fills me with life. He is the best comforter, the best counselor. He knows my deepest fears, joys, desires, despairs, longings and He loves me perfectly, despite all my mortality, He loves me with a love that is so deep and that is so pure that even glimpsing the minutest part makes my soul soar. I love Him. He has always been there for me, helping me through all my trials, even the ones I create. He is one of the only people who really, truly, and intimately understands me. The rest are deity as well, or perhaps other who I don't know about. But I value that so much--He understands the complete me, and I need not hide anything from Him, because it is His only desire to bless me and to help me become more like Him.
I do not understand nor fully comprehend that love, but it brings me to tears. His love is so strong . . . , so pure . . . , so profound yet simple . . . so Holy and unequivocal.
So yes, the answer to Thy question is yes.
And He has made promises unto me. Clear, definitive promises of a happy marriage, of the type of family I so desire, of fatherhood. Last August, He used the word soon (this was in a blessing I received in getting set apart for a calling). I was really excited for that. Soon is evidently not the year I was hoping it would be, but the promise is absolute and I will trust in Him.
I go back to Hannah's story. She prayed fervently, promising to consecrate her child to the Lord. She received a promise from the prophet and went on her way rejoicing. The promise was fulfilled and she fulfilled her vow, consecrating young Samuel (which can mean "God heard") to God--he became one of the mightiest prophets in Israel.
I cannot consecrate my wife to God--I'm not sure how that would work, but I can consecrate my family; consecrate and set my family apart, much like how Joshua asked the people to choose this day whom they would serve. I will serve the Lord. And I will work and labor to help my family to choose the same.
The answer that I give to the question, am I not better to thee than ten sons, (or rather, am I not better to thee than a wife) is yes . . . yes.
I won't go into all the reasons why, but my God, my Father . . . my Father, is so kind, and gracious; He fills me with life. He is the best comforter, the best counselor. He knows my deepest fears, joys, desires, despairs, longings and He loves me perfectly, despite all my mortality, He loves me with a love that is so deep and that is so pure that even glimpsing the minutest part makes my soul soar. I love Him. He has always been there for me, helping me through all my trials, even the ones I create. He is one of the only people who really, truly, and intimately understands me. The rest are deity as well, or perhaps other who I don't know about. But I value that so much--He understands the complete me, and I need not hide anything from Him, because it is His only desire to bless me and to help me become more like Him.
I do not understand nor fully comprehend that love, but it brings me to tears. His love is so strong . . . , so pure . . . , so profound yet simple . . . so Holy and unequivocal.
So yes, the answer to Thy question is yes.
And He has made promises unto me. Clear, definitive promises of a happy marriage, of the type of family I so desire, of fatherhood. Last August, He used the word soon (this was in a blessing I received in getting set apart for a calling). I was really excited for that. Soon is evidently not the year I was hoping it would be, but the promise is absolute and I will trust in Him.
I go back to Hannah's story. She prayed fervently, promising to consecrate her child to the Lord. She received a promise from the prophet and went on her way rejoicing. The promise was fulfilled and she fulfilled her vow, consecrating young Samuel (which can mean "God heard") to God--he became one of the mightiest prophets in Israel.
I cannot consecrate my wife to God--I'm not sure how that would work, but I can consecrate my family; consecrate and set my family apart, much like how Joshua asked the people to choose this day whom they would serve. I will serve the Lord. And I will work and labor to help my family to choose the same.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I am David
Or at least hope to be.
There's two scriptural examples that really help me better understand faith.
The first comes from the Book of Mormon and is the story of Nephi going with his brothers to get the brass plates (ancient scriptures). What did they think of over the week long (or however long) journey from the wilderness to Jerusalem. Surely Nephi was praying for success. They finally reached Jerusalem and went about trying to accomplish what God had commanded them... they failed. Nephi's older brother nearly got killed by Laban, the keeper of the plates. Shouldn't God have helped them? They tried again. They gathered together all their wealth and tried to buy the plates from Laban; they expended all of their efforts. This time, they all nearly died and lost all of their precious things. Surely they asked, where was God? Hadn't He commanded us? Didn't He want us to have success? Why was fulfilling this commandment so impossible?
Yet noble Nephi did not give up; he tried again, relying completely on God for help and finally succeeded through a strange manner, being led 'not knowing beforehand the things he should do.'
The next example is king David. Here was a humble servant of God who was promised by the prophet Samuel that he would become king. He was even anointed to become such. He must have been glad, full of trust in God's promises. He did many great things: he killed Goliath, became a war hero, and won the hearts of all the people. He did not seek to become king over Saul, but served him diligently with all his heart. He loved Saul. Yet Saul became jealous of him and tried to kill him many times. He killed those who helped him, even killing priests who showed him mercy. He hunted for him mercilessly, and even though David spared his life two times, Saul continued to pursue him. David's wife was given to another, taken from him. He was forced to leave behind his best friend Jonathan, with whom he had shared such a strong bond as to make the heavens smile. He was forced to leave behind his own country, and live among the people whom he had fought against. At one point, he even had to feign madness to save his own life. He was slapped in the face for the kindness he showed to others, and despite trying to serve God, he suffered greatly.
Where was God in all of this? Did He not promise David that he would become king? And now he was alone, cast out from his own kin, estranged from his wife and his closest brothers, forced to live amongst enemies. His mentor and friend Samuel was dead. Where was God?
And yet David did not doubt, but he had faith. And the promised blessings came. They came over time and eventually he was crowned king. Even after this it took years for him to finally become king over all Israel. Indeed, after years of bloodshed, strife and intrigue, the full promises were finally realized and he became king as promised.
What I learn from these two examples is that what God promises, God fulfills. But sometimes it takes time. Sometimes we have to fight for it, tooth and nail, working out our guts while remaining faithful to our covenants with God, trying to exercise all of our faith and trust in God.
I have received many wonderful promises. Some I hold most dear: the promise that I will have success in work; the promise that I will find my sweetheart and "soon bring a young woman to the altar" and be sealed to the woman of my dreams; the promise of having the family I've dreamed of; and many more. Some of these seem so far away from me. Work is so stressful and I feel like I am drowning in failure. I cannot seem to get anything to work properly and it eats me and wears down my faith. I long for love; I long for a meaningful relationship and am trying to pursue that and receive much pain from it. That is one of the greatest desires of my heart and it hurts so badly at times.
And I remember these examples and try to exhibit and exercise the faith that these good men had. The promises of God are sure, and He will fulfill all He has spoken, no matter how impossible the dream or goal may seem. He has already fulfilled many promises; one that leaps to mind is the fact that I have a job--there was a time when I was seriously doubting this. I felt I would never obtain, that I would never get a job. I applied to so many places, prayed much, fasted, studied, etc. to no avail. Of course I could have done better in everything I did, but I was trying to put forth my best efforts. And God remembered Daniel, and I did obtain. He will do the same with the other promises and I will look back with joy on having obtained. The happiness I will feel then will warm my bosom on dark nights and I will be able to look back and testify that the Lord God does visit His people in their afflictions, and that He will fulfill all His words unto the children of men as they exercise faith in Him.
There's two scriptural examples that really help me better understand faith.
The first comes from the Book of Mormon and is the story of Nephi going with his brothers to get the brass plates (ancient scriptures). What did they think of over the week long (or however long) journey from the wilderness to Jerusalem. Surely Nephi was praying for success. They finally reached Jerusalem and went about trying to accomplish what God had commanded them... they failed. Nephi's older brother nearly got killed by Laban, the keeper of the plates. Shouldn't God have helped them? They tried again. They gathered together all their wealth and tried to buy the plates from Laban; they expended all of their efforts. This time, they all nearly died and lost all of their precious things. Surely they asked, where was God? Hadn't He commanded us? Didn't He want us to have success? Why was fulfilling this commandment so impossible?
Yet noble Nephi did not give up; he tried again, relying completely on God for help and finally succeeded through a strange manner, being led 'not knowing beforehand the things he should do.'
The next example is king David. Here was a humble servant of God who was promised by the prophet Samuel that he would become king. He was even anointed to become such. He must have been glad, full of trust in God's promises. He did many great things: he killed Goliath, became a war hero, and won the hearts of all the people. He did not seek to become king over Saul, but served him diligently with all his heart. He loved Saul. Yet Saul became jealous of him and tried to kill him many times. He killed those who helped him, even killing priests who showed him mercy. He hunted for him mercilessly, and even though David spared his life two times, Saul continued to pursue him. David's wife was given to another, taken from him. He was forced to leave behind his best friend Jonathan, with whom he had shared such a strong bond as to make the heavens smile. He was forced to leave behind his own country, and live among the people whom he had fought against. At one point, he even had to feign madness to save his own life. He was slapped in the face for the kindness he showed to others, and despite trying to serve God, he suffered greatly.
Where was God in all of this? Did He not promise David that he would become king? And now he was alone, cast out from his own kin, estranged from his wife and his closest brothers, forced to live amongst enemies. His mentor and friend Samuel was dead. Where was God?
And yet David did not doubt, but he had faith. And the promised blessings came. They came over time and eventually he was crowned king. Even after this it took years for him to finally become king over all Israel. Indeed, after years of bloodshed, strife and intrigue, the full promises were finally realized and he became king as promised.
What I learn from these two examples is that what God promises, God fulfills. But sometimes it takes time. Sometimes we have to fight for it, tooth and nail, working out our guts while remaining faithful to our covenants with God, trying to exercise all of our faith and trust in God.
I have received many wonderful promises. Some I hold most dear: the promise that I will have success in work; the promise that I will find my sweetheart and "soon bring a young woman to the altar" and be sealed to the woman of my dreams; the promise of having the family I've dreamed of; and many more. Some of these seem so far away from me. Work is so stressful and I feel like I am drowning in failure. I cannot seem to get anything to work properly and it eats me and wears down my faith. I long for love; I long for a meaningful relationship and am trying to pursue that and receive much pain from it. That is one of the greatest desires of my heart and it hurts so badly at times.
And I remember these examples and try to exhibit and exercise the faith that these good men had. The promises of God are sure, and He will fulfill all He has spoken, no matter how impossible the dream or goal may seem. He has already fulfilled many promises; one that leaps to mind is the fact that I have a job--there was a time when I was seriously doubting this. I felt I would never obtain, that I would never get a job. I applied to so many places, prayed much, fasted, studied, etc. to no avail. Of course I could have done better in everything I did, but I was trying to put forth my best efforts. And God remembered Daniel, and I did obtain. He will do the same with the other promises and I will look back with joy on having obtained. The happiness I will feel then will warm my bosom on dark nights and I will be able to look back and testify that the Lord God does visit His people in their afflictions, and that He will fulfill all His words unto the children of men as they exercise faith in Him.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Job Fright
I've been thinking about the occurrences of this week and have gained greater anxiety due with regard to the future. When your boss and your boss's boss both are taken out of the company (eliminated position and will retire) it kind of makes you a bit nervous about the stability of your own job. I did receive assurances, however, that there shouldn't be any layoffs on the team level, just a change of supervisors.
Still...
It reminds me of when we all met together with the Chief Actuary and were talking about potential layoffs. I prayed to know if I would be laid off and got this warm fuzzy feeling, really distinct peace. At first I thought that meant, yes, I would be laid off, but in pondering it more, I now believe it means that whatever happens, the Lord will be with me and all will be well.
So I'm really not sure what will happen in the future. The recession is definitely playing a big role in this, and the potential for health insurance reform could effectively destroy our business, but there's still a lot to see what'll happen.
In thinking of it though, if I do lose my job, I'm not sure what I'll do. The Lord is good however, and mighty and merciful to save. In Him will I trust.
Still...
It reminds me of when we all met together with the Chief Actuary and were talking about potential layoffs. I prayed to know if I would be laid off and got this warm fuzzy feeling, really distinct peace. At first I thought that meant, yes, I would be laid off, but in pondering it more, I now believe it means that whatever happens, the Lord will be with me and all will be well.
So I'm really not sure what will happen in the future. The recession is definitely playing a big role in this, and the potential for health insurance reform could effectively destroy our business, but there's still a lot to see what'll happen.
In thinking of it though, if I do lose my job, I'm not sure what I'll do. The Lord is good however, and mighty and merciful to save. In Him will I trust.
Now Abides Hunger
Today is fast Sunday which means that worldwide, members of the Church go without two meals (about 24 hours without food or water) and donate the value of those meals to what's called Fast Offerings, which is then used to aid the poor and needy.
Why fast?
The fast helps me to draw away from the world and focus on more spiritual things, allowing me to come closer to Christ and to God (see Isaiah 58 for some really great doctrine on the fast). It is a form of mighty prayer that allows some great exercise of faith.
The fast makes me hungry: it allows me to feel more of what people in need actually feel every day, helping me to be more generous in my offerings and charity, and helping me to remember that we are equals.
So what am I fasting for?
1) I am praying/fasting for my boss; I just found out that his job has been eliminated and his boss is being retired. That's kind of frightening for him as well as for me, which leads me to 2.
2) I'm fasting for myself and my other co-workers that we can keep our jobs. The economy's been bad for insurance (as well as everything) which means downsizing
3) I'm fasting for two of my co-workers so they can pass upcoming Actuarial exams (or at least that they're minds will be quickened so they can remember what they've studied/learned, etc.)
Overall, it is a wonderful experience of putting God's will above your own, submitting the flesh to the spirit, mighty prayer (each time I get hungry I try to pray/remember my purpose in fasting), and a beautiful way to remember and help the poor.
I remember when the Tsunami hit in 2004, the Church held a special fast asking members to pray for the victims and donate generous fast offerings. All of the money went to helping those in need from the Tsunami.
Why fast?
The fast helps me to draw away from the world and focus on more spiritual things, allowing me to come closer to Christ and to God (see Isaiah 58 for some really great doctrine on the fast). It is a form of mighty prayer that allows some great exercise of faith.
The fast makes me hungry: it allows me to feel more of what people in need actually feel every day, helping me to be more generous in my offerings and charity, and helping me to remember that we are equals.
So what am I fasting for?
1) I am praying/fasting for my boss; I just found out that his job has been eliminated and his boss is being retired. That's kind of frightening for him as well as for me, which leads me to 2.
2) I'm fasting for myself and my other co-workers that we can keep our jobs. The economy's been bad for insurance (as well as everything) which means downsizing
3) I'm fasting for two of my co-workers so they can pass upcoming Actuarial exams (or at least that they're minds will be quickened so they can remember what they've studied/learned, etc.)
Overall, it is a wonderful experience of putting God's will above your own, submitting the flesh to the spirit, mighty prayer (each time I get hungry I try to pray/remember my purpose in fasting), and a beautiful way to remember and help the poor.
I remember when the Tsunami hit in 2004, the Church held a special fast asking members to pray for the victims and donate generous fast offerings. All of the money went to helping those in need from the Tsunami.
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